On Thursday I went on a 9 hr walk along Paris, on the way I went into Sacré-Cœur. This experience surprised me. Only because I felt like praying after over 16 years, and so I did.
I purchase a large candle, lit it and I sat. I closed my eyes and I prayed…
I prayed for my mother to keep on fighting to get better.
I prayed for Tayla to be happy and not too sad that I am not around for a while.
I prayed for Trent to stay positive and do what he is doing now.
I prayed for Jet not to forget about me.
I prayed for Ryan to have the enery to take care of Jet without me and for his finance to improve.
I know they will continue to live even-though I am not around physically…
I prayed for my own health and for my test result to be just a mistake.
I prayed for my relationship with my partner because I felt not at ease .
There is so much decision still to be made but nothing is certain. For once I will soon get to be with my boyfriend without the stress of selling the house and final details before leaving Australia.
I was in the moment in the “Now” and am so focus that I cried, my tears just started pouring down my face and I allowed it I just sat there until I felt a sense of calmness.
Right now even though I am greatfull for this experience to travel the world I am still in a lot of pain from being away from my friends and loved ones back home…
My life is very uncertain and I am feeling all emotions of gratefulness and sadness at the same time.
Everyday I have to remind myself… “look after yourself more” and to remind myself to pray/meditate more.
This is my self talk for the last few days:
I will make self care important.. I have to take some time to be by myself, just by myself. I will do things that gives me peace, love, and joy with myself. I will nurtured myself physically by walking in Paris with friends, and consuming healthy foods. I will nurture myself emotionally by listening to songs I love, looking at paintings, and help out around the house. When I am able to offer help to others I feel I am deserving of receiving the gift of love back. When I live my life with purpose, I will feel good about myself.
I will also nurture myself mentally by reading my favorite books, and spiritually by taking the time to meditate.
There you go my friends, I would like you to try and take some time today to “Nurture’ yourself, especially during this time of year when most things get out of balance.
Something for you to listen to.
The universe always provide signs.